It’s hard to believe that a week ago today was the night before my first marathon.  Hard to believe that a week ago tomorrow I ran and finished 26.2 miles.

Hard to believe but not impossible because all the evidence is there to prove it! The medal, the DOMS, the blues…they’re all real!

Today, my body feels fine; as if I never ran a marathon at all. The day afterwards was another story! On Tuesday I felt like I had been run over but I made myself get up and move around during the day, including going for a short walk to meet a friend for coffee.  I also had to go to my college course that evening, and although it was painful, I managed to sit through the 4 hours. Standing up to leave though, that was hard!

Wednesday I walked to work and had what was probably the worst 1 mile I’ve ever had! The DOMS reared their ugly head with a vengence that day! But I got through it and on Thursday I started to feel more like myself.  By Saturday I wasn’t feeling any soreness at all.

I won’t go out running until mid-week though, I’ve been told that just because I feel good doesn’t mean I’m fully recovered. I want to give my muscles every chance to repair so will be taking it easy still.

But this rest and recovery period has brought on something I had been warned about but never really thought would happen to me.

The post-marathon depression.

It’s real.

This weekend, I feel wretched.  I feel like I’m a lazy, wasteful blob who’ll never amount to anything or do anything amazing ever again.

I feel sad, lonely and bored (or boring…or both, I can’t decide!).

I’m finding it hard to motivate myself to study, or clean, or cook or read or basically do any of the things I a) need to do or b) like to do.  Instead I’ve binge watched a Korean drama on YouTube (it’s hilarious btw!) because it makes me laugh which is better than wanting to cry! I also had lunch with a good friend and it was nice to get out of the house and spend some time with her. I felt a lot less lonely after that!

But I need to put all this in perspective…I’ve spent the better part of a year intensely focused on this one single thing. I have spent countless hours (ok, maybe not countless) training for this one event. Everything I have said and done over the last 7 months has pretty much been about the marathon. It was all I talked about (all I HAD to talk about!). When people asked if I had plans for the weekend, my answer was always; “Running”.  The build up was intense, the day itself was phenomenal and the aftermath was incredible.

I’m not surprised I’m feeling so down now that it’s all over.  All the energy I expended towards the marathon; physically, emotionally, mentally…it hasn’t found a place to settle.

I do have new plans for improving my fitness and times; but I can’t start that in earnest yet so I’m not focused on it.

There is also my college course that I will have more time to devote to, now that I’m not training so much.

So while I feel sad and utterly useless this weekend and however I feel tomorrow; it doesn’t take away from what I did.

I set out to accomplish something; to test my discipline and determination by training for a marathon.  I passed the test. I finished the marathon. I have the medal, the DOMS and the blues to prove it!