Dear Mr. Sandman,

We have history, you and I, but I’m hoping we can put it behind us and start over.  I can’t remember a time we ever got along, it seems we’ve always been at odds. From the times you refuse to visit, to the times when you do visit but I refuse to acknowledge you; we’ve never seen eye to eye. But I’m starting to realize just how important it is for us to reconcile.  As a runner, I need you! As a runner training 5 days a week and aiming to improve my speed, I need you more than ever!

I know this isn’t the first time I’ve tried to repair our relationship. I have tried so many tactics to try and please you. All the advice I’ve found online, or been given by friends or doctors, I’ve tried. But somehow, for some reason, nothing ever clicked and you remained as elusive as ever.

It’s been difficult living without you. It’s been hard, never knowing when or if you would show up each night.  I lay awake, mind racing, no sign of your arrival and then when you do arrive, you leave again so quickly it’s like you were never there.

It got to the point where I didn’t even try. If you’re not going to visit there are plenty of other things I can do to occupy my time and my mind. Of course, I’m not saying you are the only one to blame here; there were times you did show up but I pushed you away so I could finish a particularly good book, or watch just ‘one more’ video, or play just one more game on my phone. I know, of course that the book isn’t going anywhere and the words aren’t going to somehow change in the middle of the night. Same thing with the videos and games. It should be easy to put them down, right? So, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for ignoring you.

I’ve learned my lesson; I need you. This is my olive branch. Can we be friends?

I want us to be friends, and to meet every night like we’re supposed to.

I’m not saying it will be easy; old (and bad) habits are hard to break but I for one will make the effort to be ready and waiting for you at a decent time.  Lights out, technology off, books closed; all between 10.30 and 11pm.  No more staying up past mid-night, no more ‘one last’ whatever until 2 o’clock in the morning. No more.

And if you don’t show up I’ll keep waiting. No books, no videos, no distractions. I’ll just keep my eyes closed and wait for you.

Don’t make me wait for long?

Most sincerely,

C.